How I deal with fear, anxiety and uncertainty as a freelancer
(Transcribed from the Freelance Fairytales Podcast)
This is a comment I actually just straight up grabbed off of my YouTube right now. Someone just left this comment seconds ago and I went you know what, maybe it’s a sign I am supposed to talk about this today.
I try and shy away from talking about anxiety because people can be very opinionated on it. Anxiety is a very real phenomenon in the body - I have had anxiety attacks, especially since 2017 when I lost my dad. But people also don’t want to hear that you can mediate and manage your anxiety. They get upset if you imply that it’s anything other than an unfixable diagnosis.
You guys know if you’re listening to this that I am a solutions oriented person. I don’t accept no for an answer on anything. If I ever receive a horrible medical diagnosis, I am still going to believe I can do something to fix it, whether it’s through prayer or the food I eat. I believe where there is a will, there is a way with anything.
That makes some people upset when it’s on the topic of anxiety, so I generally stay away from it. But with this new season of the podcast, I am feeling called to go there, regardless of if I ruffle some features. I am here to remind you that your mind and body are so much more impressive than you give them credit for. Truly. I want you to just think about that. Your brain, spirit, soul and the physical shell carrying you are miracles. Your brain is a medical miracle - we still can’t understand all that it’s capable of. The fact we are here on earth together at the same time, listening to words come out of an audio device is a miracle. This is all a Godly miracle.
Your Body is Capable of More Than You Give it Credit For
When you realize that, you should also realize that you can do more with your body than you are currently giving yourself credit for. And that goes for fear, anxiety, and worrying about uncertainty. This goes deep into the subconscious. You can virtually rewire how you think while also calming your vagus nerve and managing your overall nervous system. You can do anything you set your mind to.
When I was starting out, I had imposter syndrome. I was young, I had no idea what I was doing, and I had a few mean clients tell me that my writing is terrible and I should quit. I thought about it. I had anxiety I was an imposter, pretending I could write. I worried that I was going to be ‘exposed’ for my lack of experience, even though I proudly stated right on my profile that I was 22-years-old. I never lied to anyone, yet those imposter syndrome voices creeped into my head - hardcore. For the women listening, we experience this way harder than men do - this has been scientifically proven!
I felt all the bad things. But… something funny happened over the years. Every day one of my worst fears came true freelancing, like a client flipping out at me or leaving a one star review, the next day, I survived. I lived. I was ok. Then it happened again. And again I lived. After awhile, I didn’t have the imposter syndrome anymore because I had completed 1,000 orders. And after awhile, I didn’t have the anxiety either. You know why? I had built up confidence by pushing through for months over months. Once you do anything 1,000 times, you feel pretty damn confidently about it. Fast forward to today, and I had completed over 6,000 Fiverr orders by myself before starting my team. When you do something 6,000 times, you really never question your experience ever again and you laugh at the people who do because… how can you compete with someone who has done something thousands of times?
Persistence is the Enemy of Business Anxiety
Persistency, sticking with it, and never quitting crushed my business anxiety. Or at least the kind that comes with freelancing. I have different anxiety now because I am exploring new businesses like real estate investment and writing my own books. But what most people don’t realize since the concept of anxiety has taken on a life of its own today, is that a certain amount of anxiety is actually a good and healthy thing for you! It means your brain is ready to learn something news. It means you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s actually an incredibly healthy part of growing as a business person. I always tell people if you can get to a place where you see anxiety as a complementary part of growing and expanding, you are golden. Anxiety is a natural bodily response to unknown things. Fight or flight was meant to keep us alive. We just can’t handle it sustained for days on time.
I’ve had month-long anxiety attacks. I’ve had sleepless nights for weeks on end. I’ve had times when I cannot catch my breath for days. I’ve caused all sorts of digestive problems in my body from flipping out. It’s been a living hell - I get it. I just knew I couldn’t go on like that. It’s not sustainable. So I sat down and again, asked myself, how can I fix this? I started to research physical things I could be doing, like eating anti inflammatory foods, stretching, going on walks, and cold plunging. I also started to work out harder, for at least 1-hour every day. I find fitness kills my anxiety better than anything else. I started reading more, praying, picking up the Bible more. I started to drink more water and focus on my breathing. Next thing you know, I was ok again.
I think we are in a dangerous place in society today when we tell people there’s just no ‘other fix’ for something. There is always a fix. Through God - or whoever He is to you - all things are possible. But more than anything, changing habits and how you think can be all that is separating you from the life you have now, and working as an anxiety-free business person - for the most part. Remember, some anxiety is good!
And as for the uncertainty, I have come to love it. I actually find my favorite part of living is uncertainty. Not knowing what’s around the corner. Not knowing what incredible opportunity may come my way next year. It’s so exciting to me. Try and see it that. How boring would life be if God handed you a timeline that showed you everything that would happen to you and at what time? That wouldn’t be living at all. It can be incredibly unfair down here, but the entire purpose of breathing oxygen into your lungs, in my opinion, is to feel all of the incredible feelings that can only happen in the human form. Surprise, laughter, humor, love, excitement, anticipation etc. all come from the uncertainty. Try to see uncertainty unemotionally. It has always been and will always be. Life is packed with uncertainty. My pragmatic mind goes ok, this isn’t going anywhere, so how can I learn to love it instead? Romanticize your life! Go live - you never know when it will come to an end.
Alright got a little poetic there. You guys get the gist. Don’t let your anxiety define you. You are more than a nervous system reaction in your body.